The Mailman Attack Plan

Somedays I find myself plotting against the mailman. I think it would be a good surprise to jump outta the bushes and tackle him into the leaves and make all the letters he is carrying go flying up into the air. I mean, if I were a mailman, I would think it was totally rad for that to happen to me. Unless my arm got broken. Or my knee. Then in which case, I would not think that it was funny. I wonder if mailmen have good health insurance?
there are a few problems with this plan:
a) I do not have bushes in my yard.
b) The mail never comes at a specific time, and it's cold outside so I would have to wait for an unspecified amount of time in the cold. Is it worth it?
c)I would need something to yell when I tackled him. Something clever and weird and funny so that he would know that it's just a "hey let's tackle the mailman, wouldn't that be fun" kind of thng and not a "let's kill the mailman" kind of thing. Cause, i mean, he's a nice guy.